Living The Midian Dream

The Art of Flourishing in Seasons of Nothing Special

Embracing Purgatory
Every college student knows the times I'm talking about.  That week right after New Years but before school starts back up.  That week toward the end of July bored to death working minimum wage at your summer job.  That Spring Break without any special plans so you spend it at home staying up late, sleeping in until noon, and staying in your sweats for days on end.  Basically it's that boring time, in between exciting things, where nothing is really going on and you fill your days trying to fight off crippling boredom.  Where staring at the wall seems like a reasonable way to spend half an hour.  I call it Purgatory. In the schedule of college we will all encounter many of these times and seasons of nothing special.  

Look familiar?

Sometimes college itself can seem like Purgatory.  Its this weird in between time right after leaving the house but before you start "real life" living in the "real world."  There's awkward transitions like moving into dorms freshman year, paying rent for the first time, or spending your first summer away from home despite your mom's protests.  "Why am I even here?" we often wonder.  "What's the point?" "Can't I just get on with real life?"  As someone with a major without much practical job and skills training, these are questions that often plagued me.  Wouldn't I be better off getting a job rather than wasting my time going in debt? But in the Bible we are told to "make the most of the time, because the days are evil (Eph. 5:16)."   We are told of God that "Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began (Ps. 139:16)."   In other words, whether it is the season of college or a week at home, we are there for a reason and we need to learn to embrace Purgatory!


Learning from Moses
One of the great examples from the Bible about these times of waiting is in the life of Moses.  There are many lessons to be learned from the Exodus about God's faithfulness despite the faithlessness of the Israelites, God's strength despite Moses' weaknesses, and the Passover as pointing towards Jesus.  But one of my favorite lessons is more subtle. It is in the briefly mentioned time of Moses' life in between fleeing from Egypt and hearing from God in the Burning Bush.  During this inbetween time, Moses spent 40 years in a rural land named Midian (Acts 7:30).  He got married, had a family, and lived a pleasant, simple life as a shepherd.  40 years of nothing all that special, nothing really exciting, of just living an average life before God was ready to call him into greatness.

Charlton Heston was the best Moses... after Moses himself I suppose.

 But Moses was never recorded as being unhappy or impatient or wasting his time watching 30 Rock marathons.  Instead, he was both content and productive. He would neither grumble or complain, nor would he let that time go to waste.  It was no doubt this time which helped him remain a bold yet patient leader as he waited for Pharaoh through plague after plague, as he faced the Red Sea with impatient Israelites and Egyptians hot on his tail, and as he waited through another 40 years wandering through the desert.  In Hebrews 11 we learn the secret to Moses' strength: faith.  Moses built his life around the promises and strength of God to sustain him, protect him, provide for him, and to use him.  

I love this picture because its totally insignificant.  No special event or memory, just a random candid picture take by my friend Stephen. It was just the regular, every day Midian. In some ways, that's what makes it most memorable.  

I myself am in a bit of a Purgatory right now. I just graduated from Drake in December but I have yet to go on staff full time with InterVarsity.  I'll be working part time at a restaurant, I am just starting the long process of fundraising, and I'll also begin working with the Drake IV in a new role as staff.  I still don't know where I'm going to be next fall or even this summer.  It's again one of those weird in between times of transition.  But I look back to the times when I thought I was wasting my time, but was blown away by how God showed up in my life and used me. I take stock that those times of waiting in the Bible were often the times of God's greatest preparation. 


Living the Midian Dream 
So the next time we face a time of Purgatory in between exciting times or feel like we're wasting our time at college, let's remember Moses and instead of living the American Dream let's live the Midian Dream.  Let's keep ourselves busy and productive, setting goals for ourselves to not let our time go to waste or fall into old habits.  Idle hands really are the Devil's workshop.  Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible, invest in people and build lasting friendships. In a word: grow. But let's also be content and patient, embrace where we are right here and now, not longing for some distant time in the future when real life will start.  Real life is happening right now in front of us, start living it.   Know that in time God has great things in store beyond our imagination, but take it from me, you'd be amazed at the great things God has in store right here and now, living the Midian Dream.

Seth

More Reflections: How To Not Start Your Freshman Year Playing College Football

Reflecting on a 16 Year Football Career: Freshman Year (Part III)
Off to a Rough Start

Year One: RedShirted
After I knew that Drake was where God wanted me to be, I didn't know much else.  I knew that I would redshirt, meaning I wouldn't play for my first year, and I would have to start over again at the bottom of the totem pole.  That meant be humble and patient, but hungry.  I knew that I was the fourth linebacker in my class, and the other three were the guys they signed instead of me.  That meant I had a chip on my shoulder.  I knew that God had brought me here to play football at a high level, so I had a lot of confidence.

But things started slow.  And crappy.

My first ever padded collegiate practice, in my first ever drill, I messed up my shoulder.  I got hit at a weird angle and it immediately started hurting.  But I toughed it out and kept going.  Well then it got hit a few more times.  Then I stepped in as scout team quarterback to throw the ball.  Now it was really hurting.  Not good.  I decided I would wait to until we go to the next drill, and then go see the trainer.  So I run over and the trainer is looking at someone else.  So while I'm standing there, I figure I'll get a drink.

And then it happens.

The Defensive Coordinator, my coach, looks over and sees me getting a drink while everyone else is in the drill.

"HEDMAN!! WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING!? GET YOUR *** OVER HERE!! (and then it got worse) EVERYBODY! CHOP 'EM!!"

If you don't know what the term "chop 'em" means, consider yourself lucky.  It means commence torture, the worst, more exhausting punishment in football (IMO).  Up-Downs.  Chopping your feet until coach blows the whistle, then dropping into a push up and getting back up as fast as you can to continue chopping.  I think we did 30. I thought my shoulder hurt before?  Now its actually hurt, like strained labram.  And I can't say anything now!  I'm already too embarrassed that I got the whole team in trouble, as a freshman, on my first day of pads, from getting hurt on my first hit.  Not off to a great start.  By the way, when I actually go to see the trainer, they say they can't help me but its just gunna hurt like hell until it heals on its own. Great.

Later that day, I have a distinct memory of walking over to sit with a table full of guys at dinner and spilling my entire blue Powerade over the whole table.  That was not my day.

But things got better that year.  Camp came to an end and I got to play a lot of scout team, which is where the freshman and underclassmen run the opposing team's defense against our offense.  This meant no pressure, running around with your friends, hitting people and getting better.  One time I really ticked off our running back by just straight running him over. Good times.

A lot of standing on the sideline when you're redshirted.

That offseason I was introduces to the joy that was 6AM workouts.  There's nothing like walking a couple blocks in a snowstorm at 5:30 in the morning to go get your *** kicked for a couple hours.  That sounds negative.  Really, there's nothing like it.  Its a really unique and rewarding experience.  Mostly because you're doing it with 100 guys that are equally miserable but you're all there for the same goal, which makes it kind of fun.

I was also introduced a big part of my career: coaching changes.  Just as I had begun to get to know our Defensive Coordinator, and he had become to be impressed at me by seeing my physicality and winning Scout Team Player of the Week three times, he took a better job.  That meant learning a whole new system and, more importantly, getting to know and impress a whole new coach.

Me and Brandon.  This is actually from Sophomore year but this still gives you some context to how young I was.

What I learned that first year was a lot about hard work, patience, and finding your place.  I knew I wasn't the big star anymore and I was OK with that.  I just had to find my role on the team and fill it.  I would need to learn this a lot more in years to come, however.  I also began to build some great friendships while also neglecting friendships that could have been built.  Although I may not have been mature enough for it at the time, I regret not being as social or as involved in the party scene (even if I didn't partake) so I could have been better friends with my teammates.  It was hard to overcome those initial treads and habits.

I think that I felt as if, in High School I talked and goofed around a lot, which made people like me, but not respect me.  I thought a lot about the quote by Abe Lincoln, that "It's better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it" and figured if I was more of a strong, silent type, people would respect me more.  Turned out, people didn't end up always respecting or liking me, and more often than not, I think people thought I was judging them.  I should have just focused on being like Christ (thus being myself) rather than try and be something I'm not.  Funny looking back on it.

Seth

Next: Concluding College Ball (Part IV)

This Year's Theme: MORE

Starting three years ago, I began coming up with one word that would be my "theme" for that year.  Depending on where I was personally or what I was doing, I picked this word as something that could remind and motivate me to live out the word.  This is a big deal.  I often spend several week thinking, praying, and brewing over this vision for the next year.  The past three years were: Warrior, Hungry, and Obsessed.  Pretty good, right?

In previous years I had often had trouble coming up with a word that would set a vision for my year and motivate me.  This year, it seemed I had too many words.

This is year is a year of transition and change for me.  I have just graduated from college and concluded my 16 year football career.  I am beginning my career as a campus missionary with InterVarsity.  And although I don't even know where I will be this summer, and I very well may stay in Des Moines, I know my next step is to begin transitioning away from Drake.

But with all of this I am not really afraid or nervous, I'm excited.  I had a fantastic experience as a student and football player at Drake, but God saves the best wine for last.  I get to begin devoting myself full time to campus ministry.  I get to raise a financial and prayer support team of friends and mentors who believe in me and support what God is doing in and through me.  I get to be a leader and mentor in worship and ministry like never before.  I get to take on new responsibilities, new adventures, and new opportunities.  Basically, I'm pumped to experience God like never before and have the greatest year of my life.

It is into that I began thinking of how to denote this excitement, anticipation, and yearning in a one word theme.  I thought of LOVE; to motivate me to live out the two greatest commandments with all my heart, mind, and strength.  I thought of ZEAL; as a way to remind me of how David was zealous for the house of the Lord and vowed to never rest until God's house was built.  But ultimately these fell short of truly encapsulating the word I desired and having the ability to remind me of that feeling.

More - Lecrae

In a word, I needed more.  I needed more from these words.  And I realized that actually that feeling, that desire, was the word itself.  This year I want MORE!!  I want more zeal and more love.  I want more Holy Spirit, more prayer, and more worship.  I want more discipline, more growth, and more maturity.  Last night, I filled up a page and half all of that I wanted more of. Now, you may think that if I can fill up a page and a half then more is too broad, too generic.  But thats what makes me excited about this word! In a flash, in less than a second, it makes me think of all of these things.  But deeper than that, its not just a specific attribute or reminder.  It is a deep desire burning deep in my heart and soul. I will not be satisfied with a comfortable, cultural Christianity! I will not be satisfied with  I want more God! I want more of His Presence! I want more miracles!  I want more new believers! I want more fruit! So when I think of more, it will rekindle that fire, and light it afresh to motivate into taking action and moving forward.

More Love, More Power - Michael W. Smith

In the immediate future, I will live out my theme but taking steps each day to develop a disciplined character by engaging in more daily Bible reading, more daily prayer, and weekly fasting.  This is not the action of a man weary in doing good, acting according to burden and guilt.  Instead, I really am burning for more of all of these things.  Essentially, I want more of God in my life. And that means that I want more of all of the spiritual disciplines that will bring that about and more of the fruit of that manifest presence. When I get worn down, tired, and discouraged, I will be looking at my bracelet to reignite this fire and begin again chasing after more.

I encourage you all to think and pray about what God might be leading you to make your one word theme for this year.  May it be a constant reminder to what God wants for you this year.  As for me, I want MORE!!

God Bless

Seth Hedman

You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.” 
Psalm 27:8