Edit: I am not a parent and do not intend this to be telling any parent they are doing it wrong. This is intended as a slightly tongue in cheek look at Santa by combining my experience working with kids for 3 years and 4 years with college students. These are the reasons for what my approach to my kids will be, as far as it applies to your current or future kids, take it for what it is. I'm also not trying to get rid of fun, just give a little context. Read through to the end and you'll see. Merry Christmas :)
I think it was this kind of belief that Jesus was talking about when he called us to have "faith like a child." But too often, kids are told mythologies and legends as true that they put this kind of faith in, only to be disappointed as they get older. I believe this sets unhealthy precedents and associations in the young mind of a child that ends up hurting their ability to have "faith like a child" later on in life. As it is the Christmas season, I thought we would address the great fat man, Santa himself.
1) The Santa Myth hurts a child's instinct to trust.
Kids don't believe anything just because they're stupid kids and don't know any better. Kids know how crazy it is that we could go to the future or that a man in a red jump suit could travel around the world in one night. They're never seen it before and it doesn't really make sense. But they trust in the person telling them so much that they would believe even something so ridiculous. That is why kids are struck with such awe seeing Santa in the mall or watching Santa movies. It seems so impossible, but it must be true because their parents told them so. That's also why they will defend Santa against naysayers. They trust their parents and will fight to defend what they are told is true from their trustworthy authority.
This is the kind of faith we are called to in our relationship with God. It's not a call to blind faith, to be stupid and unthinking. But when we are struck with the unbelievable or naysayers, we trust in God. God is bigger than us, smarter, eternal, he is infinitely wise and infinitely loving. He loves us. So when our creator and Daddy says something is true, it must be. Because we can trust him.
But how messed up is that we abuse this trust my misdirecting it at something we all know is false? Your kid loves you so much and trusts you so much they would believe something so crazy, and you respond by lying to them? I think this sets a dangerous precedent for your child not only to be skeptical of their relationship and ability to trust one's parents, but also their ability to trust other authority, especially God. I know so many Christians that really love Jesus but struggle with doubt and insecurity because they struggle to really trust that He is there, that He loves them, and its going to be okay.
2) The Santa Myth hurts a child's instinct to ask questions.
Kids are constantly asking questions about things they don't understand. We all know the cliche of the kid that is incessantly asking, "Why?" Cliches exist for a reason. And we see this played out in the Santa mythology. Think about the details of the Santa myth. It went from a guy that delivers presents to "A jolly fat man with cherry cheeks in a red suit that lives in the North pole where elves make all his toys in Santa's workshop and he gets around with flying reindeer and there is a Ms. Clause and he loves milk and cookies..." and on and on. We have all those details because kids kept asking questions! Where does he live? How does he make the toys? How does he get around? Does he have a wife?.. and on and on.
Our relationship with God is meant to be similar. Even though we would trust anything our loving Daddy tells us, we should hunger for answers and details. We should constantly ask, "Why?" We see this played out in so many thousands of years of theology and philosophy. I find it astounding that anytime I start to think about and research some deep theological question, I find that someone else has written extensively about it and found answers 1500 years ago. Although God ultimately responded with a call to trust, He commended Job for asking questions and demanding answers. Our hunger to know God should drive us to ask these questions and find answers so that we have reasons to believe what we put our faith in and know is true.
So when a child discovers that this Santa myth, so complicated and detailed, with answers to every possible question (that a child thinks of), can all be false, it creates in them a skepticism and apathy toward seeking truth. If I ask a million questions, and find all the answers, and they can all just be lies, then why bother? You can almost see the seeds of post-modernism so prevalent in today's youth, that there is no Truth and its all just a matter of who is in power. In the case of Santa, your parents are the hegemonic capitalist elite. Or perhaps, if you ask enough questions and find out something you love so dearly is a lie, you won't want to ask questions anymore. Too many Christians are afraid to seek the answers to tough questions because they are afraid the answers will point away from God and they'll find out that the God they loved was a lie.
3) A child associates the Santa Myth with God and Jesus
You never see him, he's supernatural, can do things beyond belief, gives you awesome treasures, and you just have to believe in him no matter what people say. Now, am I talking about Jesus or Santa? Could be either one, right? In a child's mind they associate supernatural beings like Santa and the Easter Bunny with God and Jesus. Heck, they share the same Holidays so kids practically hear them both in the same breath. God and Santa are both magic old white guys with white beards, they're like the same person. And Jesus just gives you life after death, Santa gives you kick ass toys and candy. Who do you think a child will love more?
Then, years later, the child finds out Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all of these other supernatural figures aren't real, but that God still is? Why should one story be true and not another? What's the difference? How does one know their parents aren't still lying? How many parents are actually lying when they tell them about God, knowing they don't really believe, but giving their children a nice story to keep them acting good and explain where Grandma went when she died? We've essentially created an American pantheon of gods, telling our kids they're all real then expecting our kids to change and believe that Apollos and Hercules aren't actually real, but that Zeus is. I have met far too many atheists who mockingly exclaim, "Of course I don't believe in God, I don't believe in Santa, do I?" At an early age they associated the two in their mind, so when they find out one is a lie, doubt is cast on the credulity of the other, often resulting in complete disbelief.
4) Children learn to associate supernatural favor with good behavior
What is the first thing that Santa asks a kid when they sit on his lap? "Have you been a good little boy/girl this year?" And with the rare exception, every kid continues to lie through their teeth. Kids are monsters. The kid probably threw a fit because he didn't get a Cinnabon on the way through the mall. But that's not how kids see it. They convince themselves they're really not that bad and they're mostly good. So kids don't really deserve all of those presents. They deserve coal (I would like to meet the just parent who actually gave their trouble making child what they deserve). But their parents show them grace by giving them presents anyway, and the child's "goodness" is justified in their own mind in the eyes of the supernatural benefactor.
Think about it in relation to God. How many people that, if you asked them if they were going to heaven, they would respond with, "Yeah I'm a good person." They figure that, as long as in the end their good deeds outweigh their bad ones, God will reward their deeds with heaven. Many Christians even think this way. But that's not how it works. We constantly choose to follow our flesh instead of God, meaning even one little sin separate us from a Holy God. We are no longer purely Good and therefore cannot be in relationship with a perfectly Good God. That's why need Jesus. Jesus takes our coal for us. But many people, including Christians, grow up in this "naughty or nice" type mentality and when they get older are unable to fully recognize their depravity and their need for Grace. They get caught into being satisfied they're not as bad as other people or trying to earn God's favor and salvation by reading their Bible everyday and doing lots of service. They want to get on the "Nice List" instead of get into the Book of Life.
Bah! Humbug!
Now look, I'm not trying to be a Scrooge or a Grinch here. I love watching Christmas movies like Rudolph, The Santa Clause from the golden age of Tim Allen, and It's a Wonderful Life. Ernest Saves Christmas is an all time classic and a regular in the Hedman household. I also think its healthy for children to enjoy and engage with fantasy and fairy tales. C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, two of my heroes and fantastic authors of fantasy, testify to the importance of fantasy in their own lives in revealing divine truths and ultimately bringing them closer to God. Any good work of fiction, insofar as it participates in divine creativity, will necessarily reflect divine truths of justice, sacrifice, and redemption. The great mythologies of Rome, Greece, and Norse show this. Even the classic Superman myth tells the story of the son of Jor-El, from outside of this world, more than human, raised by earthly parents, destined to be rejected by mankind but save them anyway. Sound familiar? And a fair amount of pretend/hero play is especially healthy for kids. I'm absolutely not saying to quench any child's imagination. But this is all a far cry from coming up with extravagant schemes to lie to your kids and totally convince them that a toy Elf is moving around and getting into mischief at night. It's a far cry from Polar Express, which absolutely begs kids just just believe in someone that isn't real.
I'm not telling anyone how to parent their kids, it's ultimately up to you and your spouse. I also never told any kids at Boys & Girls Club that Santa wasn't real, that's not my place (although I did tell one kid Justin Bieber wasn't real). Yeah I'm sure we'll decorate the tree and watch the movies, and I'll tell my kids about the Spirit of St. Nicholas of giving, and we'll have all the fun of presents and whatnot, but I won't be lying to my kids about Santa, I don't want to hurt my kid's "faith like a child" in all of these ways. We'll just be celebrating the birth of our Savior and God's redeeming grace...
...unintentional guilt trip lol.
Merry Christmas!!
and God bless us, everyone.
Seth Hedman
Another non-parent giving parental advice.
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